Three very different things:

1. Some kids are funny, like the two year old who came to my door tonight trying to give me her candy, or the toddler dressed as Spiderman sporting an out-of-place accompanying mustache, and the trio of Mexicans who closed out the night (who may or may or may not have been trick-or-treaters. They were kind of tall to be kids... And unlike the toddler Spidey, I think their mustaches were real...)

Some kids, on the other hand, are dinks. Like the kid who didn't want my candy because it wasn't a Twix bar. I followed him out to the yard and pushed him into the bushes. I'm lying of course... The Mexican gang in the driveway took care of him.

2. I found out today that a girl I went to summer camp with (with whom I probably haven't spoken to since) is pregnant for the second time. Fngers shared this news courtesy of Facebook, because--wait for it--she posted pictures of her pee stick.

And that's why I'm not on Facebook.

3. *sung to the theme of 12 days of Chrismas* "On the 38th day of autumn, the sweet Jebus gave to me... HEAT!" Yup. For the first time this autumn we have had heat in the house. A refreshing change after seeing my breath in the bathroom last Friday morning. And let me tell you, at a balmy 9 degrees in the house in the morning, that toilet seat was not a treat.

It's a state of the art furnace, however. I can load photos onto the thermostat as "wall art", it'll make me a perfect poached egg, and greet me in the morning while providing/playing the the MuchMusic top 40 for my daily shower. Oh, and heat the house. Only one of see statements is a lie. Can you guess which one?